Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis.
Lol get off my blog you crazy demons.
my roommate just got her period and came storming into the kitchen shouting THIS IS JUST NOT AN EFFICIENT REWARD SYSTEM FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if i could explain the difference between them with 2 gifs
raise your hands if you have jealousy issues and although u try your hardest not to be like ‘i liked the thing first’ you still get mad upset sometimes
reasons why babies are not needed:
- head to body ratio is uneven
- when was last time baby contribute to dinner time conversation
- baby unable to hunt for the clan
- baby is slow and usually racist
This ad on the subway goes hard as fuck
apparently the key to happiness is to have a long and shitty winter
and if you can’t have that, surround yourself with deadly wildlife
or maybe these countries have free or reasonably priced health care, good education and costs nothing or very little, marriage equality(not all do however on the list but they at least aren’t extremely homophobic either), decent minimum wages, stable economies, low crime rates and so forth and also deadly wildlife because we protect our environment
when you can’t think of a good comeback so you just
I’m horrible at comebacks so yep. This is me all the time.
After seeing a strange but convincing post on her dash, Sarah decides to test its theory. She begins holding her breath—an easy task for a first-chair clarinet—and carefully clicks “reblog”. The post becomes lighter as the loading icon appears, spinning in the center like the circle of life itself. Suddenly, her computer shuts down as it runs out of battery. The girl frantically begins searching for her laptop charger, still holding her breath with a determined will. She won’t lose this fight. As her computer begins to turn on, she pounds the wall beside her in frustration as she notices the Windows mandatory update screen—once a simple annoyance, it is now the key that seals her fate. “Come on, come on!” she whispers, afraid to use up too much of her precious air supply, now dwindling as the percentage slowly increases. 35%. Her lungs are on fire, but she cannot give up. 50%. Black spots begin to cloud her vision. 70%. Feeling faint, she leans back and tries to keep her racing mind focused on the task at hand. 85%. Mere seconds remain. 99%. … Just as it hits 100%, her screen comes to life, but the girl can’t take it anymore and promptly passes out, knocking over the poorly-placed lit candle on her dresser. It ignites the pile of school papers on the ground, and within minutes the whole house is ablaze. Fortunately, Sarah lives alone, and only one life is taken in the tragic accident. It’s a shame that she put so much trust in the internet with such a personal matter as kissing. Perhaps she should’ve just asked her girlfriend instead, thus saving all of this trouble.
reblog or sarah’s lips will haunt you and give you bad luck for eight years
reblogging for that story
oh mY GOD
i've got what they call sex appeal